I want to talk to you so fucking bad I can’t take this, I know I know I know I know for a fact that this isn’t the way things are supposed to be I can’t just sit back and let this happen idk what I’m supposed to do. Its taking every ounce of willpower I have to not text you right now

I’ve seriously never been happier in my entire life than I was with Megan I really have no fucking clue how I lost sight of that

Thank god school is ending looking at all the happy couples and knowing that that was me a couple weeks ago is the most horrible feeling I’ve ever experienced in my entire life

And make you feel safe and completely protected and fine whenever you were upset I’m such an idiot I don’t know how I couldn’t see what I was doing wrong before it was too laye

All I know is that if I had another chance with you I’d treat you like you were a goddess and the only girl in the entire world and spoil you so much more than before

There’s literally a heavy blanket of sadness constantly muffling every aspect of my life and body thats getting worse and worse with time I can’t take this. I think I need to delete my blog it holds too many memories of our relationship, there’s just so many thoughts going through my mind I don’t even care about being strong anymore I just want to cuddle with you and hold you more than I’ve ever wanted anything ever ever ever but that’s not possible so I just want to cry in my bed for the next few weeks and then maybe it won’t be this bad because I’ve never experienced anything like this feeling ever before

fuck everything. everything feels horrible, even the stuff that’s supposed to be good. I know that this isn’t the way things were supposed to work out, there’s just a huge empty feeling in my life that shouldn’t be there, how long before that goes away and I don’t care anymore? probably not soon